Well, that's it. This time round we didn't even make it past the heats. You could cut the air of dejection in the air with a Swiss army knife. We had the heart, but couldn't bring it on when it mattered. We were flailing around in the water like an amateur group(which in fact we are la). All the ego boosting words on land were bailed out of our heads as we paddled like we were tourists on the Singapore River taxi cruise.
Granted, we did not have too much centralized training in preparation for the race. With our different schedules, and even less help from the people at the top, it's not easy to put together a credible team to take part in an ever popular water sport in Singapore. Hopes were pinned on this race to show people that we were not a fly-by-night outfit. Alas, even wearing your heart on your sleeves can't make up for the lack of practice, and we now have to spend Sunday having a "congratulatory" high tea at some swanky hotel instead of soaking in the adrenalin rush of the finals. Sad, really.
This year too I really thought I had a shot at the promotion exercise coming up soon. Alas, I was not short-listed for the interview and I will spend the next 12 months or so still loading hot meals onto meal trays while taking instructions from some fresh faced "leaders".
It didn't bother me that I went 10 yrs not making the grade to be in contention for a supervisory post. It doesn't bother me that I have to take instructions from colleagues who have a little more than a couple of years flying around. And having a better roster, hence higher income, than most of them definitely softens the blow.
I got my hopes up though. And that killed me somehow. Some say where there's no expectations, there won't be disappointments. This time I forgot about this li'l axiom, and started to fantasize about that new document bag to hold the paperwork I'll be expected to do; new shoes that won't get scuffed up too much from all that kicking of carts and squatting; and the persona I should take on when I don the darker blue jacket in order to ooze an air of authority.
Two emails in the space of a few hours saw to it that all the above will remain a mirage in my professional life.